Changing Shame and Guilt into Hope and Optimism

What I find so common among those who smoke, is the feelings of either shame and/or guilt. Shame that there is something wrong with me that I don't want to quit smoking knowing that I "should", and/or guilt because I want to and haven't been able to quit. I am certainly familiar with both of those emotions.

I had quit for 2 months the first time I was diagnosed with BC in 1987 when I was 32. I

Do the cravings (for nicotine) ever stop?

A. has been quit for 6 months yet she still gets cravings just as strong as the first day she quit. She asks,


"Will it ever get better or will it a battle forever?"
You need to stay vigilant and work on changing your self talk. When a craving comes up--if you keep saying--"this is just like day one" and questioning if it will ever get better--that thought process can lead you back. Instead

Why can't I stop crying since I've quit smoking?

Intense, non-stop crying can be a sign of depression, which is also a nicotine withdrawal symptom. It can also be a sign that you need to learn how to deal with your emotional connection to smoking. Most likely it is a combination of both.


Not only is quitting smoking a physical journey but it is an emotional one too. Often quitters under estimate the strength of that emotional connection.

Shame and guilt keep smokers smoking

Often what keeps smokers smoking is either shame or guilt or both. As a coach, I never want to add to either emotion with my clients. Shame is "there is something wrong with me (that's why I can't quit)". Guilt is "I'm doing something wrong (but I don't know how to stop)". I remember feeling both after my first cancer diagnosis---even smokers would bug me to quit--"VJ, why are you smoking, you've

Different Skills Needed to Stop Smoking and then to Stay Quit

There are two different periods when a smoker quits. The initial quitting lasts 2 to 4 weeks. This is when the quitter is learning how to deal with the physical aspects of quitting and the habit cigarettes. There are now 7 FDA approved medications to handle the physical aspect of quitting and most individuals are able to get through this period by using one or a combination of these medications

Getting the Right Kind of Support When Quitting Smoking

You've quit smoking for a couple of days and it's been a struggle but so far you've been able to resist temptation. A well meaning friend asks how you are doing? You explain your struggles and instead of getting encouragement that while it is hard that you can do it, the comments you get --feel like judgement, blaming and shaming. Friends who have never smoked just don't get it and former smokers

Powerful Technique to Stop Smoking

When we exchange our cigarettes for freedom from tobacco, often we feel deprived. I remember it was a few years after I quit and a craving seemed to overwhelm me with the thought, "How dare they take my cigarettes away from me!" I didn't know who "they" were and it only took a minute to realize what a crazy thought this was, but it shows the seductive power that nicotine can have over us. When we

Quit Smoking for Yourself or For Another Person

Jessica finally decided to quit smoking because her son and daughter in law were going to have their first child and told Jessica that she couldn't be around the child and smoke, which meant she didn't get to babysit her first grandchild.It's important to quit for yourself rather than for someone else and Jessica is at high risk of relapse if her reason for quitting disappears. What if her son

Weight Gain Tied to Emotional Issues when Quitting Smoking

Many people will gain weight when they quit smoking (see previous blog for 7 Reasons Why Quitters gain weight on August 1, 2008). The reason why people will gain a large amount of weight is because they are eating more, it is not because of the small change in metabolism. Why the increase in food? For emotional reasons. We smoke when we are sad, happy, lonely, afraid, angry, stressed and for many

Dealing with Stress and Strong Emotions When Quitting Smoking

Smoking offers the illusion of going through life with the least amount of pain and the greatest amount of pleasure. Smoking seems to lessen negative emotions and heightens positive experiences. So when a smoker quits, negative emotions seem to be worse and positive emotions, not quite as fun.

Quitting smoking is like losing a best friend. In the past when experiencing stress or emotional

Shame and Guilt when Quitting Smoking

It takes most smokers several quit attempts before they are finally successful at becoming smoke free. The first time, quitters usually get cocky and can't believe how easy it was to quit and they believe that they can smoke when they want, they think they can control their smoking but the changes in the structures of the brain are so strong that a momentary slip can lead to a full relapse. Often

Why Smokers Gain Weight When They Quit Smoking and Tips to Quit

there are 7 different reasons why smokers gain weight when they quit, most of it is because of eating more food:1. Change in metabolism accounts for 3-6 pounds. 70% of weight gain is due to increase calorie consumption.- Exercise, 20 minutes per day more than you normally do- Discuss using Zyban™ and Nicotine Replacement Products with your doctor, these medications can help reduce the amount of

Different Reasons Why We Smoke

I have personally quit a total of nine separate times for at least 3 months each time. This is not counting the numerous attempts of a day here or a day there. Each time I have quit, I have learned something else about how I was connected to my cigarette. The first time I quit, it seemed easy, too easy and I thought I could control my smoking. But I was wrong, I needed to learn about relapsing